God I wanna worship you
I look around in the church and I see people falling to their knees calling out your name. The soft, sweet piano in the background leading people into worship. People breaking through the chains that have been binding them down for so long, but as I watch, I watch as an outsider. In my mind, I know I need you but my heart isn’t there. I’m asking myself “Why can’t I feel you God?” “Are you there?” but all this time you’ve been telling me “I’m here, but you won’t let me come in, there is no room for me.”
See, for years I’ve been carrying the weight of my problems and placing them on my heart, those became my heartaches and as my heart is weighed, it aches for release, for you, but I won’t let you carry them because I don’t trust you. I’ve compressed your power and looked to you as man, forgetting that in the end you’re the only one that will stand. You remain, you will never change. You can’t lie, fail, or even make a simple mistake. But I make mistakes daily and I let them control me until I feel like the mistake, then I start to question your grace, because I can’t forgive myself. You said that you would never leave me nor forsake me, that I am forgiven, but I kept all my sins hidden. Hidden from the light and when you tried to come into my life, I ran away because I was ignorant to your grace, your love, your mercy. Wanted to be set free, but so consumed by my mess that I let it define me, and I thought you couldn’t find anything in me. You’ve brought me through before and I know you can bring me through again, but the problem is i’ve looked to man as my savior, as my breakthrough, forgetting that you created this whole plan.
You created me, the gifts I have. You created the words before I wrote them down with the pen. I wanna worship you, I wanna worship you, please lead me back into your hands. Your plans and not my own. Plant your seeds and see undying growth. Come into my heart and cleanse me with your blood, let it be the water that runs through my body. Make me shout and tell somebody that you are my savior, you are my king. You are the spirit that set me free and gave me mercy that I didn’t deserve, but you deserve my worship and my praise.
As I gazed into the crowd praising you, I start to feel you. Your presence rushing through my body like a burning sensation, confessing my sins and laying them down at your table. Letting go of the chains that were holding me down, as they fall, I fall to the ground. Crying I wanna worship you, I wanna worship you. God I wanna worship you.